Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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