Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
