Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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