Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
