Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
