I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
