Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
