Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
