i think i have herpe
just one?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
