So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
