i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its not stalking. its research.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
