He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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