just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We had to coat check the pizza.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
