so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
