he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize