Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just pee around me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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