Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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