We won't sleep together?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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