addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
