I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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