I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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