dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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