Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
