He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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