Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
