I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just shotgunned beers for America
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
