This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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