then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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