Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
