Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
