So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
