the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
