I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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