i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
