you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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