shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
