She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
