HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
