We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
