If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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