All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
