This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
