i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
