..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
