how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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