Ambien. No doubt about it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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