Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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