...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
