All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
