People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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