I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
