call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Your penis caused this!
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