I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
