Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
