You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
