If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
