I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
