so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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