stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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