How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
