Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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