he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
