I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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