therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
