i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
