CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
