No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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