I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
